Vocations

It's a mystery to me how my children have found their life work at young ages. As parents, we have never pushed our children into any particular hobby or activity. We have just gone about our lives doing the things we are interested in, and our children have done the same.

Clara plans to teach cello as a sideline to raising a family. She has played the cello every single day that she is not sick in bed or travelling, since she was four years old. That's every *single* day. She has achieved an amazing musical fluency and seems to always take joy in making music.

By the age of three she was obsessed with the film version of Pirates of Penzance with Linda Ronstadt and Kevin Kline. After watching the video, she assumed the persona of the soprano lead, wore bonnets, and answered only to Mabel. Shortly afterwards she requested violin lessons. Lacking a violin teacher in our small town, but having, of all things, a very accomplished Suzuki cello instructor at the local college, we asked if she didn't want to try the cello instead. That was a yes.

Felix plans to be an ornithologist, and teach and research at a university. Okay, Cornell. His first two words were beewee and weewee, Beewees were insects that fly. Weewees were insects that crawl. At age three he spent hours and hours dictating pages to me for a book of imaginary fish. Each fish's habitat, appearance, size, etc. were described in detail. And written down (by me) and illustrated (by him).

When he was eleven, we camped at Rocky Mountain National Park, and the Composer took the boys on a ranger-led bird walk. That did it for Felix. He bought the Sibley's Guide in the park gift shop, scrutinized it all twenty hours of our homeward trip, and never looked back.

When Giles was thirteen, the Composer took him along on a trip to Cameroon. The Composer was shooting video, and needed someone to do the still photography. Giles had no special interest in photography, and had never done any, but was willing. Several months later something clicked in his brain, he took over the digital camera, and from then on he has been totally committed to taking pictures.

So looking back, I can see my children's vocational journeys so far, but I can't explain them. But I will say this:

1. Don't force. It's like falling in love. It's there or it's not. God has his plans, and we may not be in on them yet.

2. Once they're interested, still don't force. My children own their vocations--not me.

3. Cast a wide net when raising your children. Do everything that seems interesting; you never know what will spark your child. I introduced Clara to Gilbert and Sullivan because I enjoyed it, not to further her musical education. We went on a bird walk because it seemed like fun, not because we wanted to raise a scientist. And why not take a teenager to Africa if you're going anyway?

4. Give them lots of unstructured time. We were slim pickings on the organized activities for a very long time. Instead of lessons and teams, we were home wandering around the yard, flopped on the couch reading together, or working in the kitchen.

5. Teach them to learn. In their fields of interest my children read widely, deeply, and constantly. They seek out periodicals, research materials, current information on-line, and useful people. They network with adults, make contacts, plan gigs, and generally go about their lives with gusto. They know how to do the next thing, and they do it every day.