Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Forsythia Twigs in Bloom

After an unresponsive morning, and hours of stertorous breathing, Nanny woke up at midday in pain. We gave her some morphine. Who knew it would cause drug-induced psychosis? We called the hospice nurse to come to the house.

Nanny emphatically: "I want to go to the hospital or the nursing home. I can pay, I have money."
Nurse sympathetically: "Why do you, dear?"
Nanny outraged: "Why?!?!?! Because I scrimped and saved, that's why!"

Afterwards she was embarrassed and apologetic, but I laugh every time I think of it. She had a surprisingly alert afternoon, and is back in bed, in seemingly the same condition she was in last night. Not a good condition.

She is tough. Thank you all for praying.


C.A. Worcester said...

Thinking of you and praying for all.

P.S. Your Nanny seems like she has a pretty good sense of humor....I hope if God see's fit...that I grow old and when my time comes, that I too, have a good sense of humor. Please give your Nanny a hug for me. May God continue to bless you all.

C.A. Worcester

Shirl said...

What lovely memories you are going to have of your delightful Nanny!

What a privilege that your mom and you and your children carry her legacy on because of God's amazing design.

We are praying that your family would be so aware of the closeness of God's amazing right hand today - sustaining, comforting, protecting, loving, reassuring, welcoming.

TNS said...

She sounds like a wonderful lady with a lot of strength. We will continue to pray. I bet she has a wonderful life story.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. I haven't posted a comment before but I was a hospice nurse and Nanny could be expressing in her own way that she wants to go home to heaven. (when she says she wants to go to the hospital etc) It's not always the morphine causing psychosis, but a term called "terminal restlessness". Have you given her permission to leave you? She may be looking for that. Any loose ends in her life, she may be seeking to tie them up. It's just a thought and I hope it is helpful. You, your family and Nanny are precious in His sight!

Kelly said...

Boy what a tough cookie she is, God Bless her as fragile as she is that she still has that spark! I wish I could just give you a big ((hug)) .......Anna you must know ...those of us who have never had to deal with this type of situation are learning so much from you. May these days be comfortable and peaceful for her.


AllyJo said...

Bless your heart. I've been praying for all of you. I hope you find it comforting (and not weird) that internet strangers pray for you and your family. :)

I love forsythia. My mom had a plant 20 years ago in the house we grew up in. She took cuttings to her new house and every time one of us moves, we take cuttings and plant it in our new yards. There are plants all over the United States from my mother's first one a generation ago. Come to think of it, my mom got her forsythia cutting from Grandma's house. Thanks for the good memory.

Lyn said...

Your family has been in my prayers since you first spoke of Nanny coming ot your house.

I have been with 3 family members as they went home. It is a very humbling, precious, scary, wonderful, sad experience. I pray for you and your family. And for Nanny.

For a pretty good period of time I fought WWII with my grandfather as he drifted in and out of the here and now. I wouldn't trade those memories. I was able to know him at a different time and place. Exhausting as it is/was it is a treasure.

Peace be with you and come to your house.

Love and hugs sent your way.


Persuaded said...

this is such a tough tough time... this never neverland of hovering between life and death. just when you think it's almost over, things step back and you regroup... praying for you all.

God. is. Good.

Anonymous said...

i felt like it was the GREATEST privilege to be chosen by God to walk through the same with my precious grandmother. Like giving birth, you want to tell it, yet fall short.

The 'terminal restlessness' is so surprising. Your good writing communicates the essence of this experience. Thank you for sharing with us.

a privilege to pray for you too.

deb meyers

Carol said...

I've also felt that being with my MIL as she passed from this life to the next was like giving birth. It's so hard to explain it in words though.

Caring for my mother-in-law in her dying days was just a life changing experence for me, as was birthing my children.

It changed the way I look at death and dying now, totally. God bless the Hospice people for giving us all a chance to have that. Death and dying is not handled all that well here in our culture, I don't think.
Thank you for sharing your journey so openly and beautifully with us all.

Grace and peace to you and your family today and each day following.

Karen said...

I LOVE her strength and sense of humor, too. She (and you) are such an inspiration to me. Still praying for you all through this.

Anonymous said...

funny, thanks for the giggles Nanny.

all love & care to you all

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your family.

Annabelle said...

Love your blog, I visit every day. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.


Annabelle said...

Love your blog, I visit every day. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.


Anneke said...

I will be praying for your Grandmother,and I love your blog.You make it sound like a story.

Courtney said...

treasure these memories. I am convinced everyone deserves to always have a nanny forever. Life is a little sweeter, with a grandparent living. I lost my Nanny 2 years ago. Still miss her, but treasure the caretaking memories. (not sure she did, she sure was ready to meet Jesus!)

Linda said...

I will be praying for you. You are doing such a sweet, loving job. Your Nanny is just precios. I pray grace and strength for you Anna.

Laura Leigh Dobson said...

i read your blog often but have never commented i think. i want you to know that your entire family is in my prayers. i can so relate to what you are going through right now. when i was a teenager both of my dad's parents lived with us during their last years before they eventually passed away in our home. it is a hard hard thing , wht you are doing but i truly believe you are honoring your grandmother and God with your selfless dutiful actions.
love to you and blessings,

Anonymous said...

your nanny is a feisty one! :o) what sweet memories you must have of her when you were young.

i think that often we don't realize that our parents or grandparents, were once young, spry and active. they haven't always been elderly and in need, sometimes great need, as with your nanny.

my step mother (aka sweet louise) has alzheimers and comes up with some real zingers. she's in her own world 99.9% of the time now, but once in a rare while will raise her head and call for her beloved hubby (my father) then lay her head back down into seeming 'nothingness' once more.

Kimmie said...

Oh, I love that 'scrimped and saved'...you will hold that in your heart forever.

I continue to hold you in prayer. May you walk in His fullness and under His wing.

mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted

Rebecca said...

After having lived half way around the world when my grandparents passed away, I think this is such an awesome priviledge you have to spend the end with your Nanny. You are in my prayers.

Laura of Harvest Lane said...

Blessings to you dear. I agree that your grandma needs to know that it's okay to go. My mom kept hanging on by a thread because she didn't want to disappoint us.

"Lord, I pray peace, peace, peace that passes all understanding over each person in this home and in this family. Please ensure Nanny's salvation if it is not sure and give her last moments with her family preciousness. Bless them until they meet again. Amen."

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