While Baby Napped

This baby is a great sleeper (also eater, also spitter-upper), so we got to read for a bit under the rosebush during the afternoon nap.

Ruminant Nurse

Daisy is currently engrossed in the Cherry Ames series. Cherry Ames, Rural Nurse. Cherry Ames, Private Duty Nurse. Etc.

 Excellent preparation for being a nurse all this morning. The neighbor brought over a baby who had gotten too cold and weak and seemed to be dying.

Several hours by a *hot* fire, constant respiration and "rumen motility" checks, and droppers full of goats' milk, and he returned to health.

Thanks to Daisy, Ruminant Nurse.

Uncommon Beauty

I happened to pick up Uncommon Beauty at the library this week. Two things: the title has nothing to do with the content, and also, I am not in the middle of a medical crisis with a family member.

But if I were, this book would be a great resource. It's written for parents of medically-fragile new babies, but the information on navigating a hospital, accessing care, managing insurance paperwork, and advocating for your family member is really good stuff for anyone who has to interact with the medical system in a serious way. 

That could be any one of us, at any time, so these things are good to know. Find it here on Amazon if you're interested.

Gardenia from My Mother's House

My mother finally left the hospital Monday, after the surgery that didn't go as well as it should (actually the surgery was fine and her spine is so much better, it was just the two weeks near death afterward that  really got to her . . . .)

Rather than coming straight here, she went to her own home for a few days so she could keep some nearby doctor's appointments without lots of driving. This morning I went down to her house to just keep her company, and fill her fridge with good, fresh things to eat. Avocados and salmon and watermelon and kale salad and chicken soup.

And her gardenias were in bloom, and one came home with me.

Crepe Myrtle Trunks

My mother is just out of the hospital with her second hip replacement surgery, and recovering at our house. I'm sticking close to home for a few days, but still managed a walk this afternoon, just before dark.

I don't want to forget to look around and notice how beautiful everything is.

Revisiting Nourish

The best hand and body soaps we've found are from Nourish, the soap store in Savannah, Georgia, that we first patronized because it was so beautiful and smelled so good. Turns out this is the only soap we've found so far that doesn't sting or aggravate irritated skin.

And boy, there are a lot of gorgeous choices! Not a punishment.

Slow Time

I am spending these few days caring for my mother here at the schoolhouse following her hip replacement. She came straight from the hospital yesterday evening, just forty-eight hours after the surgery. Ouch. She needs a lot of help with dressing, walking, washing, and of course she can't cook for herself. Today I realized that it was three in the afternoon and I hadn't "done" a thing, just like in the old days when I had very small children.

Although, as I told her, it was also *unlike* having small children because she doesn't scream or fight about changing clothes, washing, or eating. A step up, for sure.

It's kind of dreamy, this slow time. Everything takes forever, and then I look up and the day is gone.

Tomorrow maybe will be the day I get the broccoli plants set out in the garden, or maybe not. People before seedlings, I always say.

First Aid

I'll tell you when I realized my first aid supplies were lacking: when friend Nathan, more of a computer network specialist than an arborist, climbed to the top of the silver maple in the dark, broke a branch, and while falling peeled most of the skin off his arm. Like from the wrist to the biceps. More than my little box of bandaids could handle.

On my next trip to the store, I stocked up on some basic supplies--your large gauze squares, your tape, your antibiotic ointment. Because I have a new rule that I won't send a kid home actually oozing blood.

Credit for the darling spray-painted tin idea goes to Brocante Home blog.

The Complete Bedside Companion

I wish I had known about this book last winter while caring for my grandmother. As the subtitle says, it is full of No-Nonsense Advice on Caring for the Seriously Ill. Absolutely packed with information, lots and lots of concrete advice I needed but didn't have. If you know anyone providing care to an ill relative, buy them this book.

The Funeral

Six days afterwards seems late for a funeral, but there were lots of people coming in from out of town. Last night we had a huge family gathering at our house--all the glorious food provided by our church. Lots of eating and laughing.

Nanny's funeral was this morning, at the graveside. The weather was perfect and sunny and warm (although snow is predicted in two days!). My younger brother delivered an unbelievably fabulous, inspired, hilarious account of Nanny's life. In rhyme. It totally brought down the awning, and set the tone for a very joyful service.

Clara played hymns on her cello, and my mother passed out chocolate chip cookies. Nanny's recipe, of course.

What Helped Me

I have been thinking today about what, besides the obvious (wonderful hospice workers, supportive family, and God's grace), helped the most through these three weeks.

• Tamiflu.
• A large bedroom, big enough for a little seating area, with an en-suite bathroom that was accessible with a walker. If I ever build a house, a room like this will be a top priority. Felix gave up his room without a fuss.
• Barb in Nebraska's comment at the very beginning that said, "You can do this, Anna." I hung on to those words.
• Learning how to use a draw sheet to turn and lift a person in bed.
• A large supply of twin-size cotton sheets, ordered providentially right before Christmas.
• A large, sturdy, lightweight tray.
• A brother and sister-in-law who were not shy about simply showing up, gently pushing us out of the sickroom, then taking over the kitchen to prepare and serve a fabulous dinner. Which they then cleaned up after.
• People who announced they were bringing over food that could sit in the fridge until needed.
• A teenager who was willing to drive to the drugstore any time.
• Elyse's words at the very beginning: that this would be a short time. I took that to mean that however long it lasted, it would be short in the grand scheme of my life. I think it also meant that it would never be long enough.

Hospice is Over

Our hospice time is over: after an extremely difficult last week, my grandmother died this afternoon.

Her room is so empty, my heart breaks.

Clara's Weaving

Clara's weaving continues. She's working with several kinds of thread--some plain, some crinkly, and a couple of rag strips for fun.

These last days are very difficult. For Nanny, for us. Surely we are close to the end, pulling that last thread across.

Forsythia Twigs in Bloom

After an unresponsive morning, and hours of stertorous breathing, Nanny woke up at midday in pain. We gave her some morphine. Who knew it would cause drug-induced psychosis? We called the hospice nurse to come to the house.

Nanny emphatically: "I want to go to the hospital or the nursing home. I can pay, I have money."
Nurse sympathetically: "Why do you, dear?"
Nanny outraged: "Why?!?!?! Because I scrimped and saved, that's why!"

Afterwards she was embarrassed and apologetic, but I laugh every time I think of it. She had a surprisingly alert afternoon, and is back in bed, in seemingly the same condition she was in last night. Not a good condition.

She is tough. Thank you all for praying.

Nanny's House Party

It seems pretty clear that Nanny's House Party is going to end soon. After almost three weeks of three square and beautiful meals a day, hours of sitting by the fire under a special blanket won at bingo, and a tuck-in every night with a sugar-free cookie and a heated rice bag, Nanny sat with her breakfast tray this morning and tearfully realized that she could not eat.

Shortly after that--and after an excruciatingly slow but driven-by-a-will-of-iron trip to the potty, my mother and I tucked her into her bed for perhaps the last tuck. She's been there since morning, in and out of sleep, with periods of long, long apnea, times of distress, and other periods of peaceful good humor.



We know she's ready.

Even so, come quickly, Lord Jesus.

Oh Dear

My two Big Guys are gone for the weekend, and I think I'm getting the flu!!!

What Surprises Me

I am surprised by how quickly my attitude changed from wondering "How am I going to get out of the house to do everything I need to do?" to wanting to stay home. Most things can wait.

I am surprised that God can give me--me!--unlimited patience.

I am surprised at how peaceful and sweet and funny my testy grandmother has become. "I never wanted to live to be 93." "But Nanny, you have so many wonderful memories." "Yes, but none of them happened after I turned 93."

I am surprised by the truth of what everyone has said: that I'll be glad I did this. I thought they meant that later I'd be glad. I didn't know I'd be glad right now.

Respite Saturday Pleasures

My brother Matt and his wife were here all afternoon, and forced us to leave and have fun. Okay!

• A trip to the running shoe store. A running outfit for Bella, royal blue and white. We're running tomorrow--be there or be square!

• Hamburgers for lunch. Milkshakes.

• A walk past a pond full of croaking frogs.

• A glimpse of Daisy and my mother having a chocolate party on the bed. Stuffed bunnies. Teacups.

• Seeing Matt bringing in an load of logs to build a fire for Nanny.

• Finishing a skirt hem. The satisfaction of a completed project.

Each Shining Hour

My mother has always wanted to learn to weave, and a couple of years ago she got a loom for Christmas. But she has never set it up, not (apparently) being the type of person who is going to learn to set up a loom from an instructional video.

Enter Eve.

Who has turned out to be a true powerhouse neighbor, with her exquisite taste in vintage buttons, willingness to come over and cheer me up with homemade Croatian bread, and boundless store of weaving experience.


Mom brought her loom here, and yesterday Eve showed her and Clara how to get started. Which *seems* to have little to do with weaving, and lots to do with some tricky calculations on paper, and then making a lot of bundles of thread. But then the fun begins, and you start putting the threads on the loom.


I can tell that this is not a skill that I have room in my brain for right now, but Clara is on fire, and Eve is going to loan her a small loom. And Mom is able to sit up in her back brace and make it happen. Improving each shining hour.

Finding My Footing

We're slowly finding our footing with our new routine. Our hospice nurse, Janet, came yesterday, and our new personal aide, Ruth, came for the first time today.

I've got a handle on the early morning. I've got the breakfast tray down pat; I'm cooking the turkey bacon just right. The medicines are complicated, but I'm learning.

Divine good fortune, my mother is still here and will be for another week. She's great at bedtime.

Nanny decided today to let go of her apartment. Slowly things fall into place and resolve themselves. One day at a time is all we have to do.